I feel like I’ve been stuck on a road going nowhere for a while now. I’m not exactly sure when I took my first step in the wrong direction. But here I am. The road behind me has disappeared and the one before me seemed terribly out of focus.

I haven’t written any new posts for some time now. Not because I didn’t want to. I just haven’t had anything inspiring enough to share with the world for some time. When you’re a writer who depends on inspiration that’s a pretty big problem.

After a friend asked me about it the other day, I spent some time trying to figure out how long it’d been since I last felt like I was in step with the life I was called to live. I couldn’t pinpoint it. At first. But after some reflection, I’m pretty sure my inspiration waned as a result of me turning my attention toward politics and away from God …and prayer.

It started in 2016 when our nation was going through the most contentious presidential run of my lifetime. The stakes seemed higher than they’d ever been before. I was genuinely afraid of what would happen to our country if the party that stood against the Judeo/Christian values this nation was founded on gained even more power. To be sure, neither candidate radiated the character or godliness of a statesman fit to inhabit the highest office of the land. But one of them seemed a much greater threat to the America I have loved my whole life. The one “God shed His grace” on.

For the first time ever, I turned my full attention toward the news and politics. I never realized our Republic was as fragile as it is. I didn’t know the anti-Conservative and anti-Christian movement had become so strong. I have no idea when or why We the People strayed so far from our founding principles. There is simply no denying that Americans en mass have turned away from God and toward their own human wisdom and ideals for equality, morality, and freedom.

I admit I felt a bit of panic. I wanted to sound the alarm and make sure everyone understood that our values and place in society were under attack. Everywhere I was asked to speak I took the opportunity to tell Christians how important it is for us to recapture some of the ground we’ve lost in society -and perhaps even more importantly, how urgent it is that we regain the respect Christianity long-held in America. If our reputation had become badly tarnished then, by God, it was time for us to grab the elbow grease and put in the effort to polish it back up.

I began listening to a variety of podcasts. Some liberal, some conservative. Some far-left and some far-right. Some religious, some irreligious. Before I realized it I was listening to a combination of news and podcasts all day long trying to understand what was happening to the world around me.

I grew discouraged. The sharp clash in perspectives over political and social issues ended friendships and divided families all over the nation. It even happened in my family.

I fell into seeing this as a human problem that could be solved using human means. Like my vote was going to save America? Right. I live in California people. My vote hasn’t counted in 30 years.

Eventually, I stopped writing and pursuing speaking engagements. Not intentionally. I didn’t even realize I’d done it! Like a creek that ran dry, I went from a lot of hope – to a little – to not enough to share.

Last Sunday, in the middle of worship, God reminded me… this isn’t a human problem at all. This is a spiritual battle happening in, among and all around us. This is a battle of Good vs. Evil and the dividing line doesn’t run straight down the middle. There is a web of deception, confusion, and values that pit good people against good people. Parents against children, brother against sister, neighbor against neighbor and even CHRISTIAN AGAINST CHRISTIAN!

God never asked me to fix anything. He only asked me to allow Him to use me whenever and wherever it served His purposes. Maybe I’ll play a part in leading and elevating the Christian community and maybe I won’t. But thank God our future doesn’t depend on me one way or the other.

Maybe we can avoid an America where Christians are persecuted. Maybe we can’t. I still believe there is much we can do to improve our reputation and standing in this society, but we can’t win a battle that isn’t within our power to win.

 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12 

I lost my way because I forgot that Jesus IS the Way.

We need Jesus. We need prayer. We need to keep our trust and our hope in Him.

If I still have any hope to share with you it’s simply this:

Jesus loves us. ALL of us. Even those who reject Him and curse His name. Even those who stand for things you stand against. His plan is to reach them AND MAKE PEACE WITH THEM through us. Our job is to participate by staying open to those opportunities. But that’s all we can do. The rest really is up to God.

Afterall…it’s in God we trust. Right? Yes and Amen!

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness
I dare not trust the sweetest frame
But wholly lean on Jesus’ Name

Oh Christ the solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand

When darkness seems to hide His face
I rest on His unchanging grace
In every high and stormy gale
My anchor holds within the veil

Oh Christ the solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand

His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood
When all around my soul gives way
He then is all my Hope and Stay

Oh Christ the solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand

When He shall come with trumpet sound
Oh may I then in Him be found
Dressed in His righteousness alone
Faultless to stand before the throne

By all means, pay attention to the issues. VOTE for representatives who actually represent what we believe to be important.

But don’t be discouraged. This battle belongs to God. And God is Good.

To Him be all the glory!

In His love and service,

Sharon Bollum