How We Get Suckered into Being Bigots

While I don’t believe we are a nation of racists, I do believe we are a nation of bigots. We have become so bigoted that we no longer see how morally wrong it is to stand in judgment and hatred toward entire groups of people simply because of the group or ideology they represent…or are said to represent.

Our nation is crawling with bigots who pompously rail against Christians. As a group we are considered hostile hypocrites and ridiculous fanatics who base our lives on a fantasy. We are viewed as irrelevant antagonists who threaten the freedoms of the American people. Read more “How We Get Suckered into Being Bigots” →

Four ways to know you are REALLY walking with…

I remember one Sunday when a pastor implored the congregation to avoid sinful attitudes and behaviors by “walking more closely with Jesus”. During the Q&A that followed the teaching via text messages read aloud by the pastor, someone wrote,

“I have been a Christian for several years. I’ve heard a lot of people talk about walking with Jesus but I really don’t know what that means or how to know if I’m actually doing it right. How do I walk with Jesus?” 

The panel assembled to answer the questions fumbled for a succinct answer. “Well,” said one, “You need to read your Bible so you know God and grow in His Word.”

Another said, “Just pray about it, Dude.Prayer brings us closer to Jesus.”

Though both answers were true, neither left the man feeling like he understood how to walk with Jesus any more clearly than before he’d asked the question.

How can you tell if someone is walking closely with Jesus?

Recently I was with a friend whom I know to be a deeply committed Christian for more than 30 years. She was sharing about some upset she had with a coworker.

There was a fairly long history of disagreements and avoidances between the two. According to my friend, the coworker “has a difficult personality and is probably suffering from mental illness …which makes it impossible for her to see herself or her behaviors rationally.”

Walking with Jesus through conflict

It seems there is going to be a company retreat soon and the two are slated to share a hotel room. My friend is not looking forward to it. She said she plans to “make nice” and make the best of it, so long as the coworker doesn’t step out of line. If the coworker crosses the line, however, she plans to send her packing, lock stock and barrel to the lobby where she could rent a separate room at her own expense. She felt wholly justified and even seemed a bit proud of her resolution to gain the upper hand in the situation.

“Oh, I’ll be on my best behavior but if she starts something, I’m not going to put up with it! I’m going to put her in her place and that’s just for starters!” she said.

When she got to the end of her diatribe she glanced at me. She must have seen the look of concern on my face because she asked me if I thought she was wrong. “Well,” I began, “I suppose that’s one way to handle it.”

“What do you mean” she asked.

“I suppose you can make a good case that you’re right and she’s off her rocker, but… you are a Christian and that’s supposed to mean something in situations like this.”

She contended that Jesus wouldn’t blame her one bit because of how completely awful the coworker had been.

What would Jesus do?

“I’m not sure Jesus would see it that way at all.” I said. “Let’s say you’re right about her having mental illness. How would Jesus want you to treat someone who has mental illness? Or, let’s say she’s a rotten person and takes issue with everything you say for sport. What would Jesus do with a person like that?

I could see I was making my friend uncomfortable… and I wasn’t enjoying it at all myself. But my desire to see her grow in Christ was greater than my urge to give her the approval she was hoping for.

So, I continued,

“We who claim to follow Christ are supposed to do what He would do even when our human nature leads us to do the opposite.”

I could see my friend was annoyed. “I’m sorry I’m making this harder for you.” I said, ” I really want you to consider that your heart in the matter might be preventing you from seeing things the way Jesus does.”

“Do you remember the story about the night Jesus was betrayed? The Roman soldiers surrounded Jesus and treated Him like a criminal. Peter was outraged and felt completely justified when he cut off a soldier’s ear. To Peter’s surprise, Jesus wasn’t happy with what he’d had done at all. Jesus rebuked Peter then put the soldier’s ear back where it belonged and healed it.”

“You think your attitude toward your coworker is justified. In reality your attitude toward your coworker isn’t at all how Jesus taught us to handle our disputes with others. By any human measure you may be right as rain. But if what seems “right” doesn’t line up with the examples Jesus set for us then it isn’t something a follower of Christ should do.”

“If you want to walk closely with Christ, the first rule is to remember you are following, not leading.”

If Jesus never did what you’re about to do, then you are walking in a direction that leads away from Him. I’m sorry, but it’s just that simple.”

“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. … Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Luke 6:32-36

Do you really want to be His follower?

It isn’t that following Christ is hard. It’s that we are terribly prone to believing we are following Him even when we are not. We have a persistent point of view that leads us to believe that if it seems right or fair or just to us then we’re confident it would seem so to Jesus too.

Is it possible to be a Christian and not walk with Jesus?

Yes!

“Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” Mark 8:34

Walking and following are verbs. They are action steps. There is nothing passive about following Jesus.

Then how do we walk with Jesus?

1. First we really do need to read the Bible. The Bible was given to us for this purpose and is the only way we can examine the life of Jesus and how He interacted with the world and the people around Him. We cannot be a reliable judge of what Jesus would do if we don’t take the time to really learn what He did.

Reading about Jesus in the Bible helps us:

• Compare our steps with His steps.
• Compare our attitudes with His attitude.
• Train ourselves to recognize His voice.

But that’s only the beginning.

2.We must literally ask Him to lead us. Daily.

It’s hard to follow Jesus if you don’t know where He’s going or how He wants to use you along the way. We didn’t sign on to a story about a guy who died 2000 years ago. Jesus is alive in us! We ask Him to transform our hearts then use our lives to transform the world around us. That’s the job! How can He do that without our participation?

3. We must humbly search for and acknowledge the discrepancies between His character and our own and adjust accordingly. It isn’t enough to be a believer. We must work to become like Jesus.

“If we say we have fellowship with Him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth.” 1 John 1:6

4. Our job is to make sure others see Jesus when they look at us regardless of the circumstance. This, unfortunately, will require us to bow low no matter how “right” we think we are. A LOT.

How can we be a light in this world if we don’t hold it above our pride? Be humble!

“He has told you o mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”

Closing the distance

When we do these things we close the distance between what is human and what is holy. This is when we experience the joy of communion with God through His Son, Jesus Christ. These are the precious moments when we simply bask in our beautiful friendship with Him.  These are the times we feel most secure and sure-footed in our walk with our Savior. These are the days we feel so close to Him we can sense which way He’s leading and easily go along without stumbling.

Though we may desire to be with Jesus this way every day; days like this are sandwiched between all the days we are anything but sure-footed and we stumble with every step.

The true follower of Jesus will spend their entire life going over these steps again and again. Sometimes easily, sometimes not so easily.

There is no way to passively follow Jesus. Until you take these steps, you’re not actually walking at all.

In His love and service,

Sharon Bollum

Out Damned Spot! Out, I say!

We’ve all done things we regret. Before we were Christians we dealt with our mistakes by feeling bad and doing what we could to clean up our mess. Like Lady Macbeth we’d say, “Out damned spot! Out, I say!” only to find that while it was usually possible to make amends, we were forever scarred by the guilt and regret.

Then we found Jesus and experienced the indescribable joy of having our sins washed clean. We got to wipe the slate clean and live as a new creation in Christ. All because we chose to believe and accept Him as our Lord and Savior. How awesome is that!?

Sometime later (for some…much later) we came to understand the difference between accepting Christ and being one of His followers. It’s the moment when our love for Jesus ignites our desire to be like Him and then collides with the recognition that we are not like Him nearly as much as we could be.

Read more “Out Damned Spot! Out, I say!” →

Without the Hope of Heaven, Death is Just the…

Today I write my blog at my mother and father-in-law’s apartment. Across from where I sit with my laptop balanced across my lap, lies my mother-in-law; all curled up in an adjustable bed provided by hospice, where she is slowly dying. I came this morning to offer a little comfort, a little care and to deal with the cable guy when he shows up. It’s a strange list of To Do’s, I realize, but we’ve all grown used to these multi-purpose visits.

Apartments in Assisted Living Communities are always quite small. This one was already full before the hospice team dropped off a huge supply of pads, adult diapers and implements for bed baths. Now the space is nearly claustrophobic. I find I’m more comfortable when things around me are in order so I set to work doing what can be done to put things away and organize what can’t; while I wait for the cable guy. I’m especially proud of having organized my father-in-law’s book collection. Ever since my mother-in-law took this sad turn for the worse, he’s kept vigil from a reading chair a few feet away. To pass the hours in his long and lonely days, he’s rekindled his passion for reading W.E.B. Griffin novels. I’m not certain, but I think he has all of them. Each time we visit he asks us to find the book that is next in the series so he’ll have it ready when he finishes up with the one he’s been working on. The fifty some books, in no particular order, are spread across four different book shelves. Finding the correct title amid the jumble is a difficult hunt. So, today I took the time to put them all in order. As I silently sort through the books I’m thinking how happy my husband and brother-in-law will be when they are sent to fetch the “next” book one day soon. But, in all honesty, this busy task is just easier for me than the bedside vigil in the other room.

At 94 years old my mother-in-law, Marge, has certainly lived a long and full life. Even still, death is a dreaded enemy. In her case, death is choosing not to come all at once but rather bit by painful bit. Alzheimer’s has stripped away her identity as well as ours. She doesn’t know us anymore. Try as we might, we don’t recognize her either.

Long before I met her in 1982, Marge, had a presence that dominated the room. My sister-in-law, Jennifer, who joined the family the same year I did, was as terrified of her as I was. She had strong opinions, our mother-in-law. And by strong I mean her opinions could march across the room and punch your opinion right in the face before you ever found the courage say it out loud. So, mostly we didn’t. It wasn’t that she wasn’t kind or fair. She was certainly both of those. The world was just black and white to her. Things were either wrong or right. Her opinions were well thought out which obviously meant that if you disagreed you were wrong and she was right. I find myself giggling now at how many times Jennifer and I huddled in a corner soothing our wounded egos and propping one another up enough to get though the in-law visit without a complete meltdown.

Over the years we came to know one another better. Our friendships deepened and our love for each other grew. Marge has been a huge blessing in our lives for more than 30 years. Jennifer and I love her very, very much.

To see her disappear into the thick haze that is Alzheimer’s has been awful. Watching her suffer the indignities of having strangers wash her every nook and cranny as she lies helpless and outraged in bed have left me wishing her misery would end sooner rather than later. One by one my brother and sister-in-law, my husband and I confessed that we’ve all begun to pray God would intervene and take her…gently…to the heaven He promised her.

The greater tragedy, if you can believe there is one, is my father-in-law. At 97, Bob, still hopes that we can find some way to extend Marge’s life. He doesn’t accept her condition for what it is and thinks we should be doing something to make her better. After more than 60 years of marriage, I imagine, he just can’t fathom life without her.

I take no small joy in knowing Marge is destined for heaven. I don’t think she’s ever thought a whole lot about theology or eschatology but she loves Jesus and has lived her life with every effort to honor God. We, who share her faith, know that her last breath on earth will be followed by her first breath in heaven. Whether there is a moment, a day or a millennium between the two is irrelevant because she will be at peace.

But Bob doesn’t fully subscribe to our Christian faith. He is 97 years old and would gladly stay here on earth for a hundred years more. We have all tried to start a conversation with him about his salvation but he balks and shuts the conversation down as quickly as possible. He’s just not “interested” he says. When I tried to offer him at least the comfort of knowing that Marge has heaven to look forward to when all this suffering ends – he flatly dismissed it and told me that was no comfort at all- because he was certain she’d rather live here.

I think the tragic reality is that Bob is not sure he’ll ever see his beautiful wife again once her body finally succumbs. I can think of no greater grief. Without the hope of heaven there is only sorrow and loss. Without the hope of being reunited with those who’ve gone before us…death is only a very bitter end.

Whether one believes in heaven or not has no impact on its reality. Heaven isn’t real because we believe. Heaven is real whether we believe or not.

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see”(Hebrews 11:1).

Believing in the invisible requires we reach beyond the perception that reality exists only in concrete things. Experiencing the presence of God requires we make ourselves vulnerable and open our hearts to Him. This comes easily to some but for many it’s like agreeing to jump off a cliff to a bottom that cannot be fathomed. Some will hold on to the hopelessness they can see rather than reach out to a hope they can’t.

This is where I am with my father-in-law today. If only I can say something to open him up. Even just a little.

We all want so much for him to have the comfort and peace that goes beyond understanding. We want him to have the gift of seeing beyond what is perishing and embrace what is imperishable. We want him,when he says goodbye to his wife, to have the joy of knowing this isn’t goodbye forever but… only ‘til we meet again.

I don’t think I was able to give him that today. But I pray God gives me a moment with him tomorrow. Maybe he’ll be ready then.

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. ² My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?³ And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.” John 14:1-3

Where is your faith? Are you a 100% believer or is there some part of you that still struggles with doubt? Are you searching for what might convince you completely or are you just leaning into your belief? If you are 100% convinced, what would you say to someone you loved who struggles with doubt? What do you think happens if we die while still doubting? Post your comments below!

In His love and service,

Sharon Bollum